topher

you were late to the party
coming in with a Taco Bell Party Pack
hidden in your suit jacket

we drank and drank
until you were confident to drive
ten miles per hour down Belt Line

at ihop
you peed in the parking lot
a woman said, “i can see your little peeny”

and i think that was the funniest night

---

Alan has a BA from Quinnipiac University and an MFA in Dramatic Writing from NYU. Alan has written videos for Cracked.com, articles for Howler Magazine and Vulture, humor pieces for Points in Case, and screenplays for no one. He’s currently a writer on the UCB sketch team Weekend Trolley and hosts/produces Genius Auditions, a monthly show at The Pack Theater.  Alan hosted a podcast called On Comedy Writing, but please don’t ask him about that. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram @alanjohnson____