By Hilary Kaufman
I AM THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON IN THE WORLD EVERYONE I HAVE EVER KISSED THINKS ABOUT ME ALL OF THE TIME AND IS IN LOVE WITH ME I DON’T THINK ABOUT ANYTHING EVER I HAVE NEVER FELT PAIN I AM THE KINDEST PERSON IN EVERY ROOM I CARE SO MUCH YOU CAN FEEL IT PULSATING THROUGH ME LIKE A LIGHT BEAM I AM SO BENEVOLENT YOU WANT ME TO TOUCH YOUR FOREHEAD YOU WANT ME TO TRACE YOUR LIPS WITH MY FINGERS I AM SO MINUSCULE YOU WANT TO PUT ME TO BED YOU WANT TO HOLD YOUR ARM AROUND ME IN THE WIND AND RAIN YOU WANT TO FOLD ME UP LIKE A NEWSPAPER I AM SO STRONG I LIFT MY HANDS ABOVE MY HEAD YOU CANNOT MOVE ME I AM NEVER DIZZY I AM NEVER DITZY I DON’T MISS ANYTHING EVER I AM NOT SCARED I AM THE THE YOUNGEST PERSON IN EVERY ROOM I AM SO NEW AND BENDABLE I AM THE VALUE MENU I INVENT EVERYONE I HAVE EVER KISSED THINKS ABOUT ME ALL OF THE TIME AND IS IN LOVE WITH ME I DON’T LAUGH AT ANYTHING EVER I HAVE NEVER BEEN PHASED I AM THE SHARPEST PERSON IN EVERY ROOM I AM THE KNIFE I PEEL APPLES IN ONE SINGLE SPIRAL LIKE A WELL TIMED INSULT I CUT EVERYONE I HAVE EVERY KISSED THINKS ABOUT ME ALL THE TIME AND IS IN LOVE WITH ME I AM LIFTING MY EYEBROWS I AM BEING DROLL I HAVE NEVER FELT PAIN EVER I PUT ON A DRESS I KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT EVERYTHING I AM THE LEAST WORRIED PERSON IN EVERY ROOM I AM SO CONFIDENT YOU CAN FEEL IT PULSATING THROUGH ME LIKE A SATELLITE EVERYONE I HAVE EVER KISSED THINKS ABOUT ME ALL OF THE TIME AND IS IN LOVE WITH ME I DON’T WANT ANYTHING EVER I AM THE MOST SELFLESS PERSON IN THE WORLD I CARRY CHILDREN I TOUCH ALL OF THE FRUIT AT THE GROCERY STORE I PICK THE RIGHT ORANGE EVERYTIME EVERYONE I HAVE EVER KISSED THINKS ABOUT ME ALL OF THE TIME AND IS IN LOVE WITH ME I AM THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON IN THE WORLD I HAVE THE CLEAREST SKIN IN EVERY ROOM I PUT ON OILS I CLEAN MY FACE WITH AN EXFOLIATING TOWEL I REIGN SUPREME I HAVE NEVER FELT PAIN EVER I WANT EVERYTHING I UNHINGE MY JAW I SWALLOW EVERYONE I HAVE EVER KISSED THINKS ABOUT ME ALL OF THE TIME AND IS IN LOVE WITH ME I SWALLOW EVERYONE I HAVE EVER KISSED THINKS ABOUT ME ALL OF THE TIME AND IS IN LOVE WITH ME I SWALLOW EVERYONE I SWALLOW EVERYONE I SWALLOW EVERYONE I
Hilary is originally from Brooklyn, NY, and currently lives in Minneapolis, MN. They enjoy writing in intermittent and slightly panicked bouts and making weird recipes sourced from Instagram reels.
Taco Bell Quarterly 